I lived a life of discouragement. I never seemed to be able to succeed at anything I tried. Most of my life I thought of myself as handicapped either mentally or physically. In truth, I know today, I was handicapped spiritually. I thought I had to depend on my own strength. My pride always deceived me. And, I didn’t think to rely on God in times of trouble or in times of opportunity. In other words, I tried to succeed alone, I failed alone, and I reviewed my actions alone. I was always discouraged to try again. How could I expect to garner strength when it was my own lack of strength that made me fail?
St. Theresa of Jesus said: “The soul must sometime emerge from self-knowledge and soar aloft in meditation upon the greatness and the majesty of its God.”
The greatest acknowledgement of self I ever made is that I have been wrong about almost everything. I am wrong so often, I wonder how I ever had an ego. Today I realize that I am merely a mortal being. I will be here for a while and then I will not exist. I realize I know only a little…and what I think I know is based on my logic – which is often skewed. I have lost my opinion about things in this world. Political figures come and go, national problems come and go, wars and enemies come and go. We are passing through this world at lightening speed. What was cool one day is considered weird another day. One only has to look at hairstyles and clothing styles to have a good laugh. However, in their hayday they were considered the latest, the greatest of all time.
With St. Theresa I pray: “Yes, oh my God, I am happy to feel little and weak in Your presence, and my heart remains in peace.”
Today I am encouraged by God’s mercy and grace on His people.